It Doesn't Matter.

When you have a baby, everyone wants to tell you what to do and how to do it. They tend to speak in absolutes - you MUST do it this way, or you HAVE to do it that way, or the worst - this is what's BEST. You need to do WHAT'S BEST.

If you're not careful, you can start to feel like everyone knows best. Everyone except you.

I'm here to tell you, seven years' worth of advice later (because it starts before you actually give birth, of course) - Most of that crap? It doesn't matter. Most of the things you lose sleep over when your baby is brand new do not matter a hill of beans in just a few short years. And I would argue - they never really mattered that much at all.

For example:

I was on a high horse about breastfeeding for a long time. I was never really an evangelist (and there are some crazy ladies out there pushing the agenda, let me tell you,) but I was super proud of the fact that I nursed two kids, both of them exclusively for six months. I pumped 'round the clock when I went back to work, and they were still nursing from the tap when I was with them - Elizabeth until she was 25 months old and Jacob until he was 21 months old. Neither of my kids ever had formula. While I never actually bragged about that out loud... I did in my head. I patted myself on the back a lot.

Seriously, who cares? Feed your baby. Feed your baby in whatever age appropriate way works for that baby, for you, for your family. I might judge you a little if I see you trying to feed your three month old steak, but Similac? Have at it. Nobody asked me on Elizabeth's first day of kindergarten whether she was breastfed or formula fed. You know why? BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER.


There are a lot of people both on the internet and in real life just ITCHING to judge parents, in whatever way they possibly can. Breastmilk vs. Formula. Cloth vs. Disposable. Cosleeping vs. Crib. Wooden toys vs. Plastic toys. Screen time in ANY FORM. "Overscheduling." Public school vs. Private school vs. homeschooling. The list goes on and on and on and on.

Other people have said this already, but I'm going to say it too - here's what it comes down to, no matter what:

Love your kid. Feed your kid. Spend time with your kid. Teach your kid.

Mostly, love your kid. And leave that other mom who doesn't do it quite the way you do alone.