Well... not really running. Mostly walking, punctuated with pathetically slow jogging.
For years, I have been telling myself that I need to get in some sort of shape (besides round) and that the way to begin doing that is to commit to a 5K. I've never been able to pull the trigger, though - until now.
Getting ready for the Color Run ("The Happiest 5K on the Planet!") has been difficult, because approximately 90% of the time I'm still convinced I can't do this. I have never been successfully athletic in any way. I've been overweight since puberty. I regularly trip over my own two feet and walk into things. In my entire adult life, I have never been anything but a lazy fat girl, far happier being a body at rest than a body in motion. I don't even have "once upon a time, I could do this and I can do it again!" motivating me, because I was never capable of this. There's nothing to get back to - I got Bs and Cs in gym class, for crying out loud. The fastest mile I ever "ran," even as a kid, was over twelve minutes.
Who am I kidding, seriously? Nine out of ten steps I take, that's what I'm asking myself. Who are you kidding, Sarah? You can't do this, at least not without humiliating yourself. My internal monologue is horrifically self-deprecating.
On that tenth step, though... I begin to believe that maybe this time it will be different. Maybe I'm not destined to spend life just holding down my side of the couch. Maybe it's not too late to be physically capable of keeping up with my extremely active children - and really, that's the motivation right there. There are so many things I can't give my kids, so many experiences and luxuries I grew up with that I can't even begin to provide for them. All I can give them is myself, my time, my energy, my focus. That means being healthy enough to not get winded chasing them around a park. It means being able to move fast enough to hold onto the bike seat while chasing after a kid learning how to ride a two wheeler. It also means not hesitating when my husband says he wants to go canoeing, or hiking, or camping... or even shoot a few hoops. That's one small thing I could do occasionally, back in the day - grab a rebound or two.
I just want to be healthy, for them. For him.
And maybe, for me.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me
I found this list of questions on Pinterest, and while I don't necessarily think these are things they should know about me right NOW, they're things I'd like them to know eventually, and they're good writing prompts, anyway. I'm just going to park this here and hopefully come back to it to pick at some of it.
1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe three legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?
14. Describe 5 strengths and weaknesses you have.
15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. Describe your relationship with your parents.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?
29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.
1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe three legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?
14. Describe 5 strengths and weaknesses you have.
15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. Describe your relationship with your parents.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?
29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Retro Post: Sleeping Beauty's Puppy
I originally wrote this on May 12, 2010, shortly after we returned from a trip to Walt Disney World. Elizabeth was almost four years old.
***
The morning we left, Elizabeth was upset. She didn't want to go to Disney World, she wanted to go to school and see her friends. Since I'd left plenty of time in our schedule, I took her to school so she could say goodbye and tell everyone where she was going. That helped a lot. While we were there, we talked to her friend L, who was just at Disney World a week or two ago.
S: L, what was your favorite part of Disney World?
L: Meeting the princesses! And I got to be a princess! Lizzie and I play princesses. I'm Sleeping Beauty and Lizzie is Sleeping Beauty's puppy!
Lizzie: Arf! *grin*
Can I tell you with some shame that my heart stopped during that conversation? And not for any reason you might suspect. I think a lot of moms - more moms than would admit it, I think - spend a lot of time encouraging their daughters to be like them, to do things they liked or wanted to do and couldn't. I'm certainly occasionally guilty of this.
You see, I was that kid who was Sleeping Beauty's puppy. I didn't want to be a princess. I didn't even want to be human most of the time. I don't know why I didn't realize it before now, but Lizzie is exactly like that, like how I was. Her pretend play is NOT centered on anything particularly girly. She prefers stuffed animals to dolls. When playing with friends, I usually had to find some way to work my preferences into games of Barbie or princess or other girly pretend stuff - it usually involved being the pet.
I think most women would be happy to see their daughter acting exactly the way they did as children. But for whatever reason, it breaks my heart a little for Lizzie. It was HARD to be that kid. It was hard to not care about Barbie, or She-Ra, or baby dolls. It made me different, right away. It made me weird, and made it so that a lot of other little girls did not want to play with me because I didn't fit their mold.
She didn't get why so many little girls were dressed as princesses at Disney World. She didn't want that, she had no interest. That's totally fine, although it pissed me off that I couldn't find a Lion King or Aladdin shirt for her.
I'm so proud of her I could burst. But I wanted things to be easier for her than they were for me. It's so much easier to be the princess than the dragon.
***
The morning we left, Elizabeth was upset. She didn't want to go to Disney World, she wanted to go to school and see her friends. Since I'd left plenty of time in our schedule, I took her to school so she could say goodbye and tell everyone where she was going. That helped a lot. While we were there, we talked to her friend L, who was just at Disney World a week or two ago.
S: L, what was your favorite part of Disney World?
L: Meeting the princesses! And I got to be a princess! Lizzie and I play princesses. I'm Sleeping Beauty and Lizzie is Sleeping Beauty's puppy!
Lizzie: Arf! *grin*
Can I tell you with some shame that my heart stopped during that conversation? And not for any reason you might suspect. I think a lot of moms - more moms than would admit it, I think - spend a lot of time encouraging their daughters to be like them, to do things they liked or wanted to do and couldn't. I'm certainly occasionally guilty of this.
You see, I was that kid who was Sleeping Beauty's puppy. I didn't want to be a princess. I didn't even want to be human most of the time. I don't know why I didn't realize it before now, but Lizzie is exactly like that, like how I was. Her pretend play is NOT centered on anything particularly girly. She prefers stuffed animals to dolls. When playing with friends, I usually had to find some way to work my preferences into games of Barbie or princess or other girly pretend stuff - it usually involved being the pet.
I think most women would be happy to see their daughter acting exactly the way they did as children. But for whatever reason, it breaks my heart a little for Lizzie. It was HARD to be that kid. It was hard to not care about Barbie, or She-Ra, or baby dolls. It made me different, right away. It made me weird, and made it so that a lot of other little girls did not want to play with me because I didn't fit their mold.
She didn't get why so many little girls were dressed as princesses at Disney World. She didn't want that, she had no interest. That's totally fine, although it pissed me off that I couldn't find a Lion King or Aladdin shirt for her.
I'm so proud of her I could burst. But I wanted things to be easier for her than they were for me. It's so much easier to be the princess than the dragon.
Elizabeth, totally unimpressed with Ariel
Elizabeth, totally stoked to meet Eeyore
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