The Deep End

I have a confession to make.

I am spoiled. Spoiled beyond belief. My husband? He has always done the lion's share of the housework, including the cooking. He is also a super involved dad, and never hesitates to take on anything involving the kids - although stuff specific to the kids has always been my arena and largely my calls, even when I was working outside the home full time. But the household details like dinner? Laundry? Grocery shopping? Dan has always taken care of that stuff, leaving me to focus fully on the kids and their needs. And even though it probably should have, that didn't change much when I left my job.

We rolled along like that for a long time. Right up until Thanksgiving, in fact.

Then, on Thanksgiving, Dan suffered a spontaneous pneumothorax (translation: collapsed lung) that refused to heal. Between Thanksgiving and mid-December, he was hospitalized three times, culminating in an invasive surgery that hopefully has fixed the problem, but we honestly won't know for sure for awhile yet. In addition to feeling like you'd expect a guy whose lung won't stay un-collapsed to feel AND recovering from major surgery, Dan has some pretty specific limitations right now. He is not supposed to lift more than ten pounds, he can't drive, and he has almost no stamina. And although he is definitely slowly but surely on the mend, as you can imagine, he's a little frustrated.

Especially since he also has two small kids and a spoiled wife.

We could not have survived the hospitalizations without the help of our family and friends. My parents took the kids overnight several times, my mom burned up some sick time coming to stay with the kids so I could be  at the hospital with Dan. Dear friends helped me shuffle around kids and cars, sat with us in the hospital, brought food, texted constantly... we were never alone. Help, love, and support came to us from every corner. If this entire ordeal has taught me nothing else, it has taught me just how very blessed we are.

I have to tell you though - when it comes to stuff around the house? I have STEPPED UP. I am taking care of business, man. I have done all the laundry. I have done all the housework. I have handled almost every single meal since Thanksgiving. I re-learned how to grocery shop, because I haven't had to grocery shop in seven years.

Judge if you must. But let me say - in addition to learning how blessed we are by the people who surround us - I have also learned just exactly how strong I am. I have never had much confidence in myself... until now. I can DO this! I AM doing this. Every day. Not alone - never alone. We get by with a little help from our friends, and sometimes it's a lot of help. But I don't think I'll ever feel helpless again, at least not when it comes to little day to day things that I used to find unbearably overwhelming.

It definitely sucks for Dan that this happened, don't get me wrong. But the silver lining is that when life finally tossed me in the deep end - I found out, without a shadow of a doubt, that I can swim.