Slipping through my fingers

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing, where have you gone? 

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on 

So tell me when you're gonna let me in 

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree

I felt the branches of it looking at me

Is this the place we used to love?

Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go

Talk about it somewhere only we know?

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go somewhere only we know?

Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go

Talk about it somewhere only we know

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go? So why don't we go?

Oh, this could be the end of everything

So why don't we go somewhere only we know?

Somewhere only we know?

Somewhere only we know?

Transformation

One day last summer, a friend of mine was babysitting another friend's three year old son. Knowing the boys would be attending the same preschool in the fall, she invited Jacob and me over to play.

It could not have gone worse.

Jacob started wailing before we were even on the porch. "I DON'T WANNA PLAY! I DON'T WANNA MEET A FRIEND!" NO NO NO NO NO!" When we stepped inside, he just started crying harder. While I tried unsuccessfully to calm him down, he was actually climbing me like a tree, trying to get as far away as possible from my friend - and a child who is possibly the least threatening preschooler you can imagine. After several minutes of Jacob sobbing like I was trying to kill him and showing NO signs of calming down whatsoever - I gave up, shrugged at my friend and apologized, and we left.

That day was replaying in my head over and over while I tried to prepare Jacob for preschool. He was unenthusiastic at best about park play dates with the kids who would be his new classmates. He did not want to talk about going to school at all. He would barely look at his teacher when we met with her. Worst of all, on our "practice" day of school before school actually started, he clung to my side and would not even consider participating in circle time.

When school actually started, Jacob surprised me by actually letting me leave him there (even though he cried in the van on the way for several weeks,) but I still had serious concerns and spent many mornings waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Fast forward five months.

Jacob is so happy at school. He has friends - and one of them is the little boy he wouldn't even look at over the summer. He barely even waves goodbye when I drop him off. His teacher tells me that he is eager to try whatever activities are laid out for the day, he participates in circle time and music time, and often takes on leadership roles with his peers. I get to see it for myself when I assist in his classroom. He is a totally different child, in a wonderful way. Watching him blossom like this does my mama heart so much good, let me tell you. I never worried about Elizabeth in group settings - she always thrived in them. But to have those concerns about Jacob and then to have them just melt away with a little bit of time, a loving teacher, and a supportive cooperative preschool environment... it's like magic.

So proud of this boy.